Put your own Oxygen mask on first as sometimes life changes before we’re ready for it.
In 2016, less than a month after returning from a brutally tough Marathon des Sables, I was in hospital with Guillain-Barré Syndrome. I went from running across the Sahara to being paralysed, and my world felt as though it had been turned upside down overnight.
During those dark days, Synchronicity II by The Police became my hospital anthem. I played it repeatedly because it somehow matched the danger, confusion and sheer bad luck of what was happening. It also helped me press the reset button and begin looking forwards.
Now, many people who come to me are not physically paralysed, but they feel trapped. They’re stuck in a maze where every path appears to lead to the same dead end. Somewhere along the way, they’ve lost more than their direction. They’ve lost their identity, their confidence and sometimes their love of life.
It happens gradually. Work takes over. Children grow up. Relationships change. Habits that once seemed harmless become controlling. One day, you look at an old passport photograph and wonder whether the person staring back is still you.
We all change. The question is whether we are directing that change or simply allowing it to happen to us.
My favourite piece of advice is the instruction given on every flight: in an emergency, put on your own oxygen mask first. That’s not selfish. You can’t rescue your relationships, support your family or improve the world around you when you are running out of air yourself.
Start by being honest. What’s missing? What’s making you unhappy? What are you repeatedly doing that isn’t working? Those answers may involve alcohol, health, work, money or a relationship, but blame rarely creates a route forwards.
Accountability does.
You don’t have to destroy your life and begin again. Most people don’t need a complete rebuild; they need a rewire. Change one thing, allow it to settle, then change the next. Talk honestly to the people who matter. Say sorry when you need to. Ask for support and seek professional help when the problem is bigger than you can safely manage alone.
Not everybody will understand your decision to change. Some people will prefer the familiar version of you because it suits their world. You can’t base your future on keeping everyone else happy. Crowd-pleasing is exhausting, especially when the crowd might never be pleased.
Life is incredibly brief. Imagine it as a single year, beginning on 1 January and ending on 31 December. Where are you now? Spring, Summer or Autumn? Wherever you are, there’s still time to ask, ‘What’s next?’
In my world it’s 24th August, so late Summer perhaps and I’m looking forward to a brilliant Autumn.
If you’re feeling lost, there’s plenty of time to get found. Choose one positive action. Go for a walk or run. Improve one meal. Make one telephone call. Have one honest conversation.
Put on your oxygen mask - take a deep breath. Then start creating the person you want to become before you suffocate.
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