Finding my direction opened my world
For a long time, I wanted to be on my own..
I was comfortable in my world, working through my own thoughts and searching for something I couldn’t quite explain. I knew I wanted my life to mean something - I just didn’t know what that something was.
Being alone gave me space. There were no expectations to meet, and I could disappear on a run and spend hours alone with myself. Looking back, I think I was searching for my life’s mission. At the time, it probably felt more like trying to find a reason to live.
Running gave that search a direction. There was always another distance to cover, another challenge to attempt, another finish line to aim for and I could always put one foot in front of the other even when times were hard.
Then somewhere along the way, things changed.
Through running and then coaching, I started to understand where I could make a difference. The experiences I’d collected, including all the difficult ones, could help other people. Conversations gave people confidence and a shared challenge changed how people they saw themselves.
This gave me a sense of purpose that I’d struggled to find on my own.
The interesting thing is what happened next. As I became clearer about my own direction, I became much more interested in everybody else’s. And these days, I find people fascinating.
I love to know what makes them tick. Why have they entered a particular race? What they’re hoping to achieve? What’s holding them back? And what’s happened in their life that brought them to where they are today.
People begin by telling me their next challenge, but the real conversation starts about ten minutes later. We find ourselves talking about confidence, family, change or the feeling that there must be more to life.
I recognise that feeling.
Perhaps that’s why I enjoy those conversations so much. I remember searching without knowing exactly what I was searching for, and I understand how much can sit behind a simple ambition to complete a race.
There’s something wonderful about discovering that someone you’ve just met has just let you into their inner world. And although I still value time alone where a quiet run remains a good place to think, I no longer feel the same need to stay inside my own world.
I once thought my life’s mission was something I would discover by running huge distances, but what I’ve found is a greater purpose. You could say that I’ve found what I’ve been looking for.
